"1"

I was proud of myself. As the weeks passed and we approached Hudson's big day, just thinking of it gave me a pit in my stomach. No, it's not that I wasn't proud of making it through the first year, or wasn't excited that with each passing day my little guy was becoming more and more fun. No, that wasn't it at all. It went by too fast. Several moms I've talked to have told me they just weren't "baby moms." They loved it when their little ones started having their own little personalities and increased mobility. And while I can see how that could be true for some, I'm not that mom. I can honestly say, every stage has been my favorite.

But, as much as I wanted to hold my baby close, lock the door, rock him and cry as I begged him not to grow up any more, I promised myself that Hudapalooza weekend was all about my Hudson. I was going to be strong. And I was...

. . . until I went to HyVee. I stood at the cake counter and waited for the woman to retrieve my order. She walked around with a large and small cake box and placed them into my cart. It was then that I looked down to see his bright red and blue "smash cake" proudly proclaiming "1". That was all it took. That "1" brought tears to my eyes and I couldn't hold it in any longer. And so, in front of the sweet HyVee woman who has made cakes for many occasions over the years, I wept. She sweetly patted my shoulder and smiled. "It's hard," she said.

Yes, very hard. A year of milestones and moments flooded over me. And just like a Hallmark commercial, suddenly I imagined all of the ones that would follow; his first day of school, his first basketball game (yep, he'll be quite the star), his first date, going to college, getting married, his first baby. And just like this first year has, I know it will all just fly by.

So what happened then? While I would like to ignore the fact that I stood in the cereal aisle and had a good cry, I quickly cleaned myself up and headed off for a weekend celebrating and soaking in every moment of my growing Hudson.