That's where it hit me

I know it will.  Each year, it's been the same story.  But, with time I've gotten much better at predicting when the birthday reality hits.  In the past it has been the cake.  The candle.  The personalized birthday shirts.  But today, well, I hadn't predicted this one.  

After 11 inches of snow hit Olathe on Monday night and four days of being trapped at home with the kids, I got a sitter and set out to get all ready for Hudson's big birthday extravaganza tomorrow.  It's a morning get together, so instead of cake we will have donuts.  So no awkward cry at Hyvee bakery this year.  Check.  Instead I went to Costco.  I needed breakfast beverages and fruit.  

As I made my way to the back I passed a table of Carters pajamas on sale.  They had dinosaur footie pajamas I knew Hud would love and quickly started searching through the piles for a 5T.  

There it was.  The tears welled up inside and my stomach clenched.  I waded through the sizes: through the 3 month, 6 month, 12month, 18, 24... and into the 2Ts, 3Ts... I lost it.  Totally lost it ugly-cry-sobbing-style right there in Costco.  

Just as quickly as I moved through the sizes he has grown through them.  

I texted Dan to tell him of my angst.  "My baby is turning 4!" 

His response.  "Next week."  

In other words, I think Barks thought this years breakdown was premature.  

Don't worry.  I'm sure there will be more.  



Slow down, sweet Huddy.  Slow down.  




And so, with a million things to do to prepare for tomorrow, I caved and let him into my bed to nap beside me.  

I'm weak.  

But he's pretty cute when he's sleeping. 


Yep.  The tears are really falling now.  

Ugly cry count: 2 





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