I Hope

 I've written a thousand blogs in my head.  Through my days it seems a continuing story  unraveling in my head and yet, seldom lately do those words ever make it into written form.  

Life with two is crazy, exponentially more hectic than being a mom of one.  I'd heard people say that before, but never really grasped the thought until now. 
 

Thursdays Hudson has Kid's Day Out and I've fondly been referring to it as Girly Thursday or Princess Day.  It is my extra special time for a few hours just Charli and I and I treasure it.  Today I got Charleston dressed up extra frilly and decided to take some pictures.  As I sat her in her glider and prepared to take her pictures, I was taken aback.  When Hudson was a baby we took so many pictures of him in his glider.  Almost daily it seemed we played dress up.  I flashed to the revolving picture book in my head of my sweet little boy growing before my eyes in his chair and looked fondly at my sweet baby girl sitting proudly in her own.  

I turned the blinds to let the sunlight in her room and just watched.  Her eyes sparkled in the light.  She is so very beautiful.  I hear so much talk having a girl about not focusing on outer beauty, of not telling her too much she is pretty or excessive attention on outward appearance.  As a result, it's been on my mind... a lot. 

I worry about raising my children with the "proper" balance of confidence and drive to excel; with a belief that they are worthy all while still craving success.  Just as most things are in life and in parenting, I struggle to find that balance. 

But today as I watched her in chair, peering out the window and giggling with delight at the smooth movement of the glider, it seemed a lot more clear.  

She is beautiful.  Not because of her porcelain skin, big blue eyes or long dark eyelashes most women would kill for.  It's not because of her frills and bows.  (And no, I have no plans of stopping with those.) It is because when I look at her, I see her just as she is.  I see her for the dreams that she will wish.  I see her for the ones that will come true and the ones that never will.  I see all the goals she will make and the paths she never expected to be on.  I see all the tears and the joy in the beautiful life that awaits her. 

Overcome by the moment, the song I've sang to her since she was in my belly came out of my mouth and I began to truly grasp the depth of the words.

I recalled singing those words to my Grandma as it encompassed all her wishes for us and I recalled my Mom's eyes welling with tears each time she heard the song, wishing these same things for me.  

And now, I wish this for my Charleston. 

Life has more in store for you than words can ever express, my sweet girl.  But my baby Charli, I hope you dance. 
Watch the music video here