Last Christmas

The other day as Hud, Chach and I bopped down the road with our usual Christmas songs blaring on XM, Hud was especially into a tune.

"Last Christmas" by Wham! As Hudson belted the song I started giggling, reminiscing about our "Last Christmas." 

Since Dan and I have been together we have spent Christmas Eve with his family, going to church services with them that evening. Dan has gone since he was a kid. He and I believe it is important to continue such traditions and to try to keep the focus of Christmas on the deeper meaning: of the coming of Jesus, the importance of love and family and togetherness. And so, we got the troops dressed up and headed to The Barker family church. 

As the entire family piled in pews, I was caught by the growth and the loss of our family, by the evolution that had occurred since the very first time I stood close to Dan and sang Christmas songs. I thought about saying "I do" at the altar, before all who we loved and was momentarily mesmerized by the blessings in my life. 

But, as those nostalgic, emotional moments in my life tend to, they were abruptly interrupted by the chaos of children. Charli was getting loud and antsy while Hudson wanted to sit by his Aunt and Uncle down the pew. I passed Hudson down to them while Dan stepped to the back of the sanctuary with a squirmy Chach. 

The service continued at then the children were asked to come to the front of the church. Hudson obliged and scurried off to the front. But once there, something seemed amiss. It appeared all the other children had spots;  that they knew where to go and what to do. And there was my crazy-haired blonde pushing his way a seat in the front row next to a well-dressed, prissy little blonde girl about his age. And where on earth had his cute argyle sweater gone? I peered to Uncle Ross. "He was hot," he chuckled in a whisper. 

Yep. There my son stood, front row and center in the middle of a Christmas pageant with a dinosaur shirt, mouthing the words to songs and looking around at the other children. There was nothing I could do. I wanted to leap over the pews, scoop him up and somehow disappear, but it was too late. To do something would disrupt the production and so, I sat and tried with all my might to control my laughter and through clenched jaws prayed for him to attract as little attention as possible. 

He moved closer to the girl next to him.  She reminded me of a younger version of myself. She'd practiced for weeks. She had dressed carefully in her Christmas best. Then, her spot was taken by some messy boy she'd never seen before. Poor girl! She retreated to her friends, making annoyed and disturbed faces. Then, one finger in his nose. "Oh, God, please no!" I pleaded. 

"At least it's not down his pants." Uncle Ross, laughed. 

It was as if he predicted what was next with perfect timing. Yep. Down went the hand. Mortified, I tried to motion to him to get it out; to stand still and just make it through. But of course that wasn't happening.  He was singing with gusto, or else trying to as much as a kid who doesn't know the words OR actions to something could. The show went on. He continued to push closer to the little girl as she tried to stay away from him. 

Somehow we made it through and I prepared myself to comfort my son as I was sure he was just as embarrassed as I. I readied myself as he approached. "Oh, honey.." I started, but he interrupted. 

"Didn't i do such a good job, Mommy?"  

Yes, Hudson, you did. 

Thank you, God, for making Hud his father's son, forever the star of every stage. 

Can't wait to see what this year will bring!

Merry Christmas!